zhinesade's surreal world

surrender

2011-10-14T14:55:00.002-04:00

but it was somehow just a blink of an eyeandnothing.but it was not intense enoughor mabe too much so.but it was not a blessed matchsoit seemed.but there were no promises kept,it should besaid.but there were angry words exchanged,it must not have beenmeant to be.surrenderto the windand let the clouds take youwhere they want toinstead of this pain.

Back

2010-09-13T13:51:00.000-04:00

Need to get back to writing.Very soon.

Losing Ground

2010-06-04T14:26:00.002-04:00

I have to stop myself from losing faith that this will work.I have no choice.I'm in quicksand, and resistance is futile.And even if the surrounding forest is calling out to me, and beautiful trees stand out to be worshipped by me, I am stuck here. In the middle. With you (someone else said this to me, and I can't believe I'm saying it to you. How did I get here?).I choose to be stuck here. For

Unless You Know

2010-06-02T12:01:00.002-04:00

No, you don't understand. Even if you think you do. Even if you try to empathize. And feel it. And think about it.No...unless it's happened to you exactly the same way it's happened to me, and you thought and felt exactly how I thought and felt, you can't understand.You can't judge me. You can't judge him. You are not allowed. At this moment, there is no right or wrong. There is only love.And

Hello

2010-05-26T10:31:00.001-04:00

I want to say something. Anything.I just want to make you smile.Instead, I stare at my screen, wondering if you thought about me today.Have you?I thought you hadn't.I don't know how that makes me feel.

Yet This

2010-05-20T07:00:00.002-04:00

He comes in and smiles at me. He knows I am pained.He is his usual sarcastic, pragmatic self and tries to make me see this as a good thing. And in this moment, I pray and sorely wish to believe he's right. Make him be right. I smile at him from across the table. He so wants to make me un-sad. He so wants to see me happy.Despite his attempts, I have gone deep down to a place where no one can reach

today was a weird one

2010-01-29T22:58:00.004-05:00

There are so many things I'd like to blurt out right now but can't. There are so many things I wanna talk about with someone, but will not. There are so many things that I need to think through, but don't want to.Sometimes, they say, silence means much more.Sometimes, silence is just too unbearable.Sometimes, you just really need to blab to someone who doesn't have anything invested in what you

Eye & Body Movement

2010-01-09T21:23:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine and I had a discussion last December, over a cup of coffee, about some amazing quiet moments we had observed (of course, being Sagittarians, this is one of our skills --- observation).Sometimes, if you're lucky, you see a look cross between two people, and you know it's the look of love. It's a look that's very brief and and quite unnoticeable, yet if you look very closely, it's

Jack

2009-12-13T16:26:00.002-05:00

Jack was her classmate in school, but they never really talked. Years later, they met by accident, and started keeping in touch. They sent messages to each other and exchanged stories. They found they had a lot of things in common, and decided to meet up.That's how it all started.Two years later, she had to force herself to end what they both knew was obviously going nowhere.That's how it

Keyboard Clicking

2009-12-04T13:42:00.001-05:00

Thinking thoughts that control my mind... will they control my mind if my mind tries to control them? When by control I mean I think about them and get them organized in a way that makes them less effective in their effect, are they diminished? Or when one says that I should focus on my intent instead, do they then mean more? As if by not giving them attention and by not facing them head on, the

Doors

2009-11-28T19:19:00.003-05:00

It's funny how the 'today' interacts with the 'yesterday' like time is some humungous vacuum.You're out of it and the dream that is life continues.And then something catches your eye, and you remember.That one time. That one moment. That one nanosecond when for sure you felt like the world was crashing down on you because what you felt was so heart-wrenching you didn't think anyone could survive

Coffeeless Sade

2009-09-05T06:48:00.002-04:00

It's 12noon, I am coffeeless, cranky because I worked until 330am that morning, and had to wake up at 10am. My friend piocks me up form my house and we are on our way to attend a meeting. We pass by a Starbucks and I plead with her to stop so I can buy coffee to perk me up. She finally says yes. So she stays in the car, double-parked, and I run in to get coffee.Becuase the high heavens want to

Brazil, Baby

2009-09-05T03:01:00.001-04:00

Okay, I haven't posted in a long time, but I'm back. Because I'm stuck at the hotel with nothing to do on a long weekend, and jetlag is a killer, and the interaction with Brazilians who speak very little english is so funny, it just needs to be shared. And I mean funny, in a frustrating, shrug-my-shoulders-and-walk-away way.But before I get to that, let me posdt some funny stupid things I did

don't.

2009-02-12T05:15:00.002-05:00

There's so much that still needs to be saidSo much more we want doneBut all we can do is smile bravely and waitWait for the pain to pass and the body to...I wish I could take the pain awaybut I'm afraid I don't have as much courageIn my coward state, I know you will leaveAnd there is nothing I can do but let go of...Let me go with you, sail away into the sunseti might be able to leave everything

What Now?

2008-07-11T23:54:00.000-04:00

Restless. That's how I would describe it. It's a state of mind when you know you should be content and happy, but somehow, you're just not getting the same high that you used to get from all this adventure. And by adventure, I mean life. Somehow, 29 isn't turning out to be what we (me and some select friends) were told it would be. They said after your mid-twenties you would be more settled,

Mind GERD

2008-04-07T20:33:00.002-04:00

There are so many things on my mind right now. From the obscenely mundane to the supremely complex. But I can't help it. This is how I am.And since I haven't updated this blog in a long time, and because I think no one is going to read it, I'm fine with regurgitating the acid on my mind into this blank palette.GERD is killing my pocket. This year alone, I've been to the ER no less than 3 times

Suddenly

2008-01-01T05:19:00.000-05:00

Suddenly, things change and you're back home, and loving it. Suddenly, you realize the grass was always greener on this side. Suddenly, amidst all the pain and suffering, you realize you're not in such a rut. It all happens so suddenly. And if you blink twice or thrice, you might not notice the change. And it would have all remained the same. You wouldn't have been transformed into Annie, hopeful

Spectator Sport

2007-11-10T12:30:00.000-05:00

Tumultuous time, and I am only writing about it because there’s really no one I want to share this with.Maybe I do, or maybe I don’t really want to, but I’m entering the arena. Not knowing though, whether I sit up front and bravely cheer for blood, or sit back in the nosebleed section…. that kills me.It kills me.And right when I go through that tunnel that leads me into the seating section, I

My Fall

2007-11-02T14:57:00.001-04:00

Jump

2007-10-30T00:05:00.000-04:00

This just in from the resident friendster manghuhula for day's horoscope:The Bottom LineIf you can be flexible right now, you will open your life up to more spontaneity.In DetailSometimes, you just have to go on faith. You're at a crossroads right now -- and time is running out. You need to decide which way you're going soon, and you won't have the luxury of knowing all the information you want

Firefall

2007-10-16T21:26:00.000-04:00

Yep, you're not seeing things. The people are indeed sitting upside down. I rode that ride (parang mali haha), with Len sitting right beside me, screaming her head off so enthusiastically, I had to join in, in between bursts of laughter. Of course, the thrill was not the actual hanging upside down, but the anticipation from sitting upright to slowly doing a sort of backflip and then staying that

the thing about photography

2007-10-16T20:59:00.000-04:00

the one thing about always having your camera ready at events when you think you'll get the most number of good shots is --- you end up having no good photos of yourself. look here. hair dishevelled, bad angle, shadows on my face. argghh. later pictures when we actually got to king's dominion were worse. much worse. and no, it's not me, it's the picture :P haaay.i guess that's a good thing,

River Tumble

2007-09-20T20:29:00.000-04:00

Change, Change, Change

2007-09-13T16:57:00.000-04:00

I know, I know, I said I'd keep a separate blog for writings, but I just couldn't help it. I love writing. And seeing stuff in friendster isn't as much fun as seeing it in this blogger layout.Anyway, back in ol' US, this time in the middle of nowhere, VA, hahaha. Lots of stuff happening, very little of them cool. But, just so everything's on the out and out, here's a couple of updates on me-self

Zen Green

2007-08-26T22:48:00.000-04:00

Boracay Babe 2

2007-08-24T16:13:00.000-04:00

mads and bora

2007-05-26T06:59:00.000-04:00

note: as a matter of principle, i try to not use 'bora' instead of 'boracay' in my head and in conversations. but this just seemed apt with mads' picture. my first 'portraiture' shot after the photog class. i likey.

boracay and two boys

2007-05-26T06:50:00.000-04:00

made small chit-chat with these 2 boys while we were there. shells for php10, anyone? shells po?uwi na, kuya

boracay & xian

2007-05-26T06:42:00.000-04:00

2 pics from my photog project. shot in boracay. used good ol' xian as model/backdrop. salamat xianers! sun worshipper san mig light

Sunset Stroll

2007-05-20T13:33:00.000-04:00

taken in boracay, may '07.

KL N B0RACAY

2007-05-18T23:20:00.000-04:00

Was supposed to post awesome Petronas, KL Tower, & Chinatown pics, but my goshdang laptop acquired a worm that ate all my pics. Dangit! Dangit! Dangit! Oh well, stay tuned na lang for Boracay pics from last weekend.. And maybe pool party pics from later today :DAll is not lost.

maries and faye

2007-04-14T05:54:00.000-04:00

playing with colors

2007-04-14T05:50:00.000-04:00

three generations of smiles

2007-04-14T04:52:00.000-04:00

women

2007-03-02T22:18:00.000-05:00

People

2007-02-18T01:10:00.000-05:00

They say a picture says a thousand words. What do you say?si dar, lasing chadar ulettheta

Colors of Davao

2007-02-18T00:54:00.000-05:00

villa margarita, davaoeden nature park, davao

textures of baguio

2007-02-18T00:50:00.000-05:00

the start of 2007

2007-02-17T09:45:00.000-05:00

what have i been up to? here you go... new year 2007, "bukidnon"january 2007, team-building at malayan plaza february 2007, baguio (on a whim, mind you... pardon the photo's blurry nature, i didn't take it. obviously.) february 2007, davaomore pics tomorrow....

anew

2007-02-17T09:43:00.000-05:00

i changed the space for all my writings. they're now in friendster. the address is http://zhinesade.blogs.friendster.com/zhinesade_writes/ .this blog will be mostly for photos now, just so i can segregate the two better in my head.

retrospect 06

2006-12-30T14:02:00.000-05:00

i've decided to celebrate the holidays in january. seems like the holidays (and the roller-coaster that came with it) arrived a little too late for my comfort. ***it's going to be 07 soon, and as my sister and i were discussing over coffee today, i think 07 is going to be a wonderful year. just because i'm different, she's different, we're both of us different people than when 06 began. if you'd

honkity-tonk

2006-12-30T11:03:00.000-05:00

have any of these happened to you? - got so engrossed with a scene you were watching on tv where the actress was calling someone on the phone, that when your own phone rang, you said "hello, may i please speak with..." and then silenced yourself, because YOUR phone rang. you stupidly realize the person on the other line called you, not the other way around...? - was so sleepy that you slept on

Changing Times

2006-12-25T02:04:00.000-05:00

Something's got to give somewhere. Changes are inevitable, they say, and so I go with the flow. In fact, in the spirit of this coming new year, I've done some thinking on what i'd like to do and 'not-do' next year. I've decided on a couple o' things in the past month, among them the following: 1) create another blog, keep zhinesade as a photo blog, and the new blog as a real river of fake and

complicate

2006-12-17T06:30:00.000-05:00

complicate with your presencewith a single ring of the phone, silencebegging, tauntand you shall prevailunwilling before todayunsure before skins touchedafraid that the fire might burnsaying now, scorchit is of no use to see you from afaryou consumewith each and every breathyou dishearten the icy frontagain, make that musicagain, paint that picturetogether succumb to flamesthat ignite when hands

picture picture

2006-12-17T00:45:00.000-05:00

bahay ni juan. dec. 8. buon giorno. dec 9. yes, that is a real butterfly.no. they're not really punk people. they're my team mates. it was the team's costume theme for last friday's xmas party at blue onion. rock on!

greyisms

2006-12-10T10:12:00.000-05:00

Meredith: Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have

another year, another dollop

2006-12-10T04:37:00.000-05:00

i never thought i'd be as serene as i am today. sitting here, typing away, a feeling of complete ease fills me. right now, i'm thinking --- less beer, less smokes, more acceptance, more love. sappy as shit, but terrifyingly true (ooh, just cursed; i guess that right and je ne se quoi comes with age).a lot has happened in the past week, in the past few months even. it seemed as though i was being

a-christmas-comin'

2006-12-01T07:32:00.000-05:00

it's been a weird, sleepy, sloppy, slow day. and it's december 1. whoopee-dee-doo .as is customary, here's my list for what i want to get this month. hopefully, it's a living list, will be updated with much less mundane, much more appealing choice of gifts. but don't hold your breath. i think getting into the late-twenties means losing some of your santa spirit.1. trashcan for my kitchen and

essentially an egg

2006-12-01T06:51:00.000-05:00

Karev, in Grey’s Anatomy (season 3) said something that struck me and stuck. He said that if a superhero lost his power, he continues to be a hero. Essentially, then, heroes are not defined by what they do (although they don’t really ‘do heroism’).On that track, naisip ko lang, if there are parents out there who are either removed from their children, or who cease to care about their children ---

eleven-year love birds

2006-11-26T05:32:00.000-05:00

my shoot with kitten and gel at batangas. priceless. that's how love should be.

Frustration

2006-11-17T07:30:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if it's the connection here, or if it's blogger, but I tried to re-upload khail's pics from Sariaya, and they still turned out negative...Argghhhh.I'm sick too, and some weird vibe is coming from some weird person.Double arghhh. Better just sleep. The meds are good for that, at least.

Ready

2006-11-15T09:51:00.000-05:00

Shot this and some other pics at my friend Jazz's wedding. Only had enough spare time to doodle a bit, and came up with this 8x10 blah. I had no sleep. She was glowing. Her pictures were fabulopus. Go figure.***I told a girl friend, "it's about that time."But he, I think, was not ready.He, she said she thought, was not worthy.Oh well, it'll all be pretty clear and probably over soon.***dante's

Sariaya

2006-11-05T10:59:00.000-05:00

below are pictures from the past weekend in Sariaya, Quezon, where my family headed so my dad and khail could breathe the sea air, and we could all relax. I took a total of 497 pictures. I counted once we got home, and around 450 of those have mikhail in it. he trumps my want for artistic shots. and i mean, he trumps it. i braved the beach, water til my waist, so i could take good shots of him.

minsan, para ‘kong nakainom…

2006-11-02T02:27:00.000-05:00

May mga araw, netong nakaraan, para bagang lasing akong naglalakad sa lupa. O baka ‘high’ ang mas matinong paglalarawan sa pakiramdam na yun (kahit hindi ko pa rin naman talaga alam ang pakiramdam ng ‘high’).Yung tipong alam mo ang ginagawa mo, pero sa sandaling iyon, para ring wala kang hawak sa lahat ng nangyayari sa yo. Ganun ba? Alam mo yun. Na tipong paggising mo sa umaga, alam mo medyo

loose the term usely

2006-11-01T04:21:00.000-05:00

(warning: senseless post, but pretty picture in store for you...)Yes, this was the way my mind worked this past month. Everything seems a blur, really. Sometimes, I’d have a heady moment of depression, and then at other times be giddy with excitement and happiness. Why? I don’t really know. Boredom? Inconsistency? Lack of sleep? Too much beer? Senselessness?It’s hard to write about this

Transitioning

2006-10-18T11:40:00.000-04:00

Is it an IT term exclusively? Hopefully, not.Certain events in the recent past have put my mind in a whirlwind. What matters most? What can I give up? What can't I? What do I really have? What is really my choice?I'll try to make this update as painless as possible. And as unemotional. I find it helps, in these unsturdy times...Also, I find that my logical brain deals with chaos more efficiently

the end(?)

2006-10-02T10:31:00.000-04:00

the world is moving too fastand the antbeing swallowed wholewith the frozen doughnutelicits nothingbutapathy.(really?)keeping my fingers crossed,clutching my breast,humming myself to sleep(turning a deaf ear)if only it were as easy(to switch you off)if only it were as easytoreallybe(me).

Technophobia

2006-09-16T05:03:00.000-04:00

per dictionary.com:[tek-nuh-foh-bee-uh] –noun; abnormal fear of or anxiety about the effects of advanced technology. what? did you say that was exactly what i had?such a genius.and I work for an IT company.darnit.

Passiva Aggressiva

2006-09-13T11:26:00.000-04:00

I live in a land called Passiva Aggressivaand I am the Queen.I've thought about this during the lull in between overtime and my swift cab ride home, and I'm ready for the whole world (or whoever cares haha) to know that I have a blog. Me. Zhinesade. Allan. We are one and the same person. I was planning to put up pics of me from when I was ultra-thin(parang modess haha) to when I was abusively

Like a Moth to a Flame

2006-09-12T11:43:00.000-04:00

Note: Something I wrote a while back...They say looking back always yields 20/20 vision.I read some old emails today and came across a post-break-up correspondence with an ex. You would think that after such a long time of having broken up (count the years, baby), the letter would come across as cheesy or pathetic, but it didn’t turn out that way.It was an intense letter, touching the core, naked

Curved Ball

2006-07-30T12:45:00.000-04:00

Taken with one hand on a cig and the other hand on the cam's button, in one of Astoria's rooms on the thirty-something floor. The booze I had last Friday explains the bluriness of the pic. Unstable hand, unstable mind. Still, I thought the lines were nice. So here it is.On the other side of the island, here's a collage of Boracay, circa 2006. Fun, no sun, and loads o' laughter.Sometimes, life

in living color

2006-07-24T03:09:00.000-04:00

i think i'm getting old.seriously.i chatted with an old friend over coffee the other day, and he made me realize that indeed some things have changed.he said i'd always had things to do on friday nights, places to go, people to see. nowadays, i'm more than content to just go home, sit my ass down on the couch, and flip channels. or read a good book. or just lie down in bed and stare at nothing.i

The Prince of Tides

2006-07-18T07:56:00.000-04:00

I recently read the book, and I must say, it was a novel find, pun intended.After such heavy and revealing drama, I can't seem to get myself to pick up the copy of 'Tom Sawyer' I vowed to read. Hmm. I also have Calvin and Hobbes left to finish, but can't seem to pick that up either.Looking back, this happens every so often after reading a heavy (albeit good) book. I can't seem to move on. At

he wakes up, and you know everything is right in the world...

2006-07-02T10:51:00.000-04:00

i know, mostly posts about kids are sappy, crappy, or overrated. but indulge me.i sometimes have crappy days in my new place, where it seems nothing right goes on in this world; where people cheer and jeer for a boxer, when outside the coliseum, someone is dying of malnutrition.okay, well, maybe not quite as drastic a depression as that.depression is...well, is something that has no rational

Nobyo

2006-06-25T09:57:00.000-04:00

Note: I wrote this sometime in April, forgot about it, and only just recently found it again, amidst all the rubbish I keep in the USB. I just copy-pasted it, did not bother with editing at all, nor re-reading to see if I wanna change anything. Carpe Diem and all that, ye know? On a totally unrelated note, this pic was taken on Lovelyn's wedding, sometime Feb or March, I think. She was glowing.

A House and a Home

2006-06-15T08:23:00.000-04:00

On Living AloneIt’s not supposed to be an easy transition. No one said it was going to be easy. But I was expecting it to be much more fun that it actually started out to be. It involved a lot of grown-up stuff, to tell the truth. There was the thing about responsibilities, and money, and decorating, and mix-and-matching and setting some ground rules on what went on in my new humble pad.Still, I

Mantra

2006-05-27T04:25:00.000-04:00

I'm back, officially, although I never really left the blogging world (a.k.a. became a lurker for a while there). Pictures to follow, but my summer was one helluva caterpillar-turned-roller-coaster ride.My mantra for the past 3 months has been constant, and has kept me sane. It comes from a prayer. I know, I know, cheesy, but really helps give you a new perspective on things."Know that you are

Need to sign-off

2006-03-26T09:35:00.000-05:00

Will need to sign off from my surreal world for the moment.Too many things are going on and time is just not enough for all of it. I realize I have to stop long enough to breathe sometime soon, lest I suffocate, but right now is just not the time.There's the usual work and nearing that time for written evaluations.There's singing and the band getting more gigs than we can practice for.There's me

Freedom Bar

2006-03-10T09:05:00.000-05:00

Macaroni Suicide will be jamming with other bands tomorrow, March 11, at Freedom Bar.Punta kayo and bring all your friends!:D

2 BC B

2006-02-21T08:27:00.000-05:00

Too busy bee. So many things have happened, and very few minutes left to tell them.Haven't had dinner yet. Am doing this from an internet shop. My laptop's out of commission, maybe permanently. Thinking of buying a MAC in it's place. And asked a friend to buy me the iPod too. Woohoo.In the home realm, we've done the nomadic thing and moved to a rental aparrtment for the meantime. The condo's

malarayat and friends

2006-01-28T10:29:00.000-05:00

footprints

2006-01-17T02:49:00.000-05:00

I can look back and memories of relationships can be summed up in visuals ---phrases, even.the first kiss (-Ar)the first one who said he loved you and you knew he meant it (-Ad)the first heart you broke (-Ad)the first one who broke your heart (-Lo)the first love that could not be (-KM)the first love that would not be (-Op)the first real tears (-Ne)the first real smile (-Ro)the first time

Therapy

2006-01-04T03:58:00.000-05:00

There's been so much on my mind, but very little juice to pump it out of my sytem because of the relatively small emotional roller-coaster ride I experienced during the turbulent and colorful December month. But now, I must sit, and write about these things, lest they burgeon into a beehive of distracting activity in my consciousness.This is one of the few moments when writing really is my

looking over my shoulder, and closing my eyes...

2006-01-01T02:11:00.000-05:00

I can almost touch the year 2005 that was. It was an amazing year, let me tell you that.1. There was friendship. Friends old and new were found, lost, rekindled. It's cliche, I know, but 2005 was the year that marked my deeper understanding of the people that we encounter in our lives "for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime". It has been a gift and a pleasure learning about myself

what's it all about

2005-12-24T01:33:00.000-05:00

December 24.Just when everyone is rushing to get their last-minute gift-shopping done, a weird unique person is not celebrating the day she was born.My weird, wacky, quirky, ooh, did I say weird(?) sister.Happy birthday, C1 :D***Around last time this year, i was awkward and confused, and angry, and hurt, and just generally sad, because I was with a group of people who thought Christmas was just

a child awakes

2005-12-19T02:20:00.000-05:00

The past few weeks were a vague impression. While to humanity, all appeared good and steady, some things left unsaid have rocked the mind and mystified the heart.I guess when all the basic needs of a person are satisfied, the deeper yearning and thirst for discernment of the unknown surfaces, and the call to find the meaning behind things emerges --- slowly and gently at first, and then suddenly

High Energy, Low Blood

2005-12-12T11:22:00.000-05:00

Thanks to everyone who made my birthday extra smiley this last weekend. I got so much energy from my friends, that I partied stuh-rrrrraight from Friday until Sunday morning. Of course, I had low blood on Sunday as a result of too much too booze and too little sleep, but all is well. I can sleep when I'm dead.Ha!PS. Kids, do not try this at home :-PP.P.S. Special thanks to Mia for drinking with

on the eve, "don't waste the pretty"

2005-12-09T05:06:00.000-05:00

On the eve of my rebirth to another year of my crazy, sexy (ahem*), cool life, I finish the book 'he's just not that into you'.Lemme tell you, the book hits you right where it matters, 3 leaves from the back cover.So, you're scared of ending up alone, are you? So is half the universe. Everyone just wants to feel included. Each person wants to be valued as priceless.This has been my stand pretty

why, not when

2005-11-23T05:15:00.000-05:00

I am most easily disturbed when my mind is trying not to meddle into affairs of the heart. Someone teased me the other day about someone else, but it was your face that quickly entered my mind. I shrugged and erased you in my mind, and then you were standing there, looking at me most innocently. The time of the day doesn't matter, nor does the day of the week. What matters is when I think of you,

14500

2005-11-16T20:24:00.000-05:00

The blog's been visited 14,500 times na.Wala lang.It's a much bigger number than the number of people I've crossed paths with in my entire life...(i think)...

-ber wishes

2005-11-05T01:37:00.000-05:00

This is the second time I'm doing this. It was mostly just wishful thinking last year. But that wish list turned out pretty nifty.Here's an update on those:1. My very own RAV4 (click here), 2-door, 4-wd -- didn't get this, but just paid the reservation fee for my brand new condo...whoop-dee-doo!2. Canon EOS 20D (click here). -- got it!3. 18 oz. Dufferin Phantom Cue Stick -- got it!4. Shopaholic

Frustration

2005-11-02T23:45:00.000-05:00

A couple o' days ago, I was feeling frustration; the kind that doesn't let you think about anything else; the kind that crawls under your skin, without you knowing it; the kind that sinks deep into your gut, and, in a moment triggered by intense passion, explodes into tiny unmanageable bits that flash through your brain's nerve-endings, like New Year's fireworks 2 feet away from your irises. You

a different kind of letting go

2005-10-24T04:46:00.000-04:00

Just when you thought you had it all figured out, life bears down on you and surprises you with an uppercut. A nasty one. The kind that makes you reel in pain, and blinds you with such intensity that your most ardent wish is to just slam your body against the floor, and never, ever wake up. Until after the referee calls it. Until after the lights are down. Until after the audience has gone.For

Almost Paradise

2005-10-19T10:17:00.000-04:00

I was on a much-deserved 4-day break sometIme lat week, and I feel refreshed and alive. It wasn't the place so much as it was the peace of mind that somehow came over me sometime during the whole experience. I am a traveller, no doubt about it.***I had a few thoughts, though. And you, I want you to know they were about you, about us. We went on a river cruise, and I remembered the sunset cruise

Lights Up

2005-10-07T04:07:00.000-04:00

Lights! Camera! Action!You know how you feel right after the lights go up inside the theater after a good movie? For a split second, you're torn between not wanting the film to end and wanting to analyze the beauty of what just transpired before your eyes. That's how women normally are. 'I miss...' are common words I hear almost everyday from friends, especially from those who have had marvelous

Thoughts Age, Like Wine

2005-09-28T20:54:00.000-04:00

One of the first pics I took with the 20D. Cloudy Sunset over Manila Bay.When the SATC series hit the peak of its phenomenal impact on society, women invariably started comparing themselves to SATC.Well, 2 years after the finale aired, here’s 4 reasons I think SATC women kada’s in Manila are few and far in between.- Everyone loves the diff personalities on the show, but no

Stampede for Passion

2005-09-20T19:55:00.000-04:00

Sept 10, aside from being a day before the Sept 11 US tragedy commemoration, and aside from being a piss-me-off Saturday because I had to cancel an ill-planned Baguio trip for work, was also the playdate for Red Horse Muziklaban, the event which will not soon vanish from memory.The three of us got there at around 8:30, listening to the third band via 107.5, and getting all psyched up to see and

Bands, SATC for Men, and the State of Things

2005-09-16T06:19:00.000-04:00

The vocalist of Moonstar 88 (Michelle?). Holding her own. The Haneps. The drummer's a friend. Same girl. Diff pic. Same Passion. ***Work's still been hell this week, but I've managed to still enjoy outside the 2 corners of my cube. Went to embassy last Friday and danced the night away with girlfriends, like old times. On Saturday, did the pop recording session, and stampeded my way into

All Boxed Up and Nowhere To Go

2005-09-07T07:11:00.000-04:00

Another Street Angels pic that I loved.A friend who's now with cherubs in heaven once said 'Try and learn something new everyday'. Well, some friends and I tried something new last night. Boxing.Yes, BOXING!Ha.I actually didn't know what I was getting myself into. Cha pinged me late in the afternoon and asked if I wanted to try it out with them (all 4 of us were first-timers haha), and I said '

When it's Sunshiny, The Sunglasses Come Out

2005-09-01T18:02:00.000-04:00

The Groom. The comeback-inuman of the 'HOP' group. Meet my friends. One of the kids at Street Angels. I took a whole lotta pics of her, but liked this the best.I'ts been one helluva week and a half. So many things have opened up and closed back down again, it's amazing how I'm still alive, intact, and smiling, while the thoughts in my head seem to be screwing with my sanity.Do I wanna stay? Do I

Slapdash Notes

2005-08-24T23:25:00.000-04:00

Note: Pic on the right was taken last Saturday at an outreach event with my baby, Leo (the cam). First few attempts at human subjects. Whatdya think?Ooh, the picture actually coincides with today's post. Well, look at that!***Said a friend, 'There's no right or wrong, there's only consequence'.Me: Ooh, I wish you'd said that 5 hours ago (harumph...). Still, it is quite a loaded statement. If only

Doggone Wham-Bam

2005-08-22T17:46:00.000-04:00

Note: Taken in Pagudpud,. I didn't bother with editing out the people. I think it looks more real this imperfect way.I've read about it often enough in books. Doing the deed on the first date spells DISASTER with a capital DEE. As in "Don't" and "Dead" and "Over" (although that third one doesn't start with a D, haha). Anyway, I didn't really give this much thought until very recently, when

Happy Dumping

2005-08-17T18:10:00.000-04:00

I know it's baduy, but I just love the color in this photo. And this pic was taken just last April, in 'Island Cove' resort. Nice, no? Be still, my heart wahahaha. Fucket!Anyway, heard this new term from my aunt --- happy dumping. Apparently, when one is experiencing a heartbreak, some people get depressed and need emotional support, while other people prefer happy dumping (i.e. acting

Tagged

2005-08-15T19:45:00.000-04:00

Note: Pic was added as an afterthought to this post...Taken by moi (of course) in Ilocos in April.***Tagged by Mia, and since I'm in such a good mood today...What are the things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play?Blogging. Random thoughts that trash up my head seem much clearer written down....Although sometimes, thoughts tend to sound idiotic written down, and much

When Alone

2005-08-12T06:55:00.000-04:00

It's awesome what people do when they think no one's going to find out or no one is watching.Case in point 1: In the little ladies' room in the office, the bathroom is normally kept clean the entire day. By clean, I mean, minimal odors, tidy, flowing tissue paper, soap, and water, and waste baskets that are always emptied out. However, after 6 pm, you can be sure this won't be the case and you'll

A break from Belle de Jour

2005-08-10T18:25:00.000-04:00

<-- Trying out the B&W parameter setting on the new gadget.Twas a very gray day when the photo was taken. Lugubrious, really. But we made do in Bataan, and had much-deserved R&R time, complete with a lot of sleeping food, laughs, and drinks (can't forget the drinks, no sirree), and someone won her first bowling match after 2 years of non-play. F really did it (the pseudo-partner who won it for us

Conformity

2005-08-05T18:53:00.000-04:00

Photo on the right was taken at Boston Park on my birthday last year.Below, something I wrote way back in 2002, when work was much lighter and life was much simpler...conformitydenial, blindnessfeeble attempt at honestyin a charade where all one's feelingsare shadowsand all of one's thoughts are masked in parade..whereclowns walk, unsmilingand musicians proceed, not playingand where the crowd,

The Shiznit (and random updates as if you care)

2005-07-24T18:50:00.000-04:00

Okay, okay. I'm calm now. But I have it, and so have cause to celebrate! Wooohooo!I got the CANON EOS 20D I've been dreaming about....(well, not exactly...I wanted the 10D, but that's not on the market anymore, so I got the next best thing haha).So, yeah, the budget's gonna be tight from hereon, for three months at least. Good thing I still have free billiard time and ceramic-painting time to

Wise Change

2005-07-20T09:41:00.000-04:00

<-- Picture for Today. I personally love this pic. Taken while on cruise in Bahamas.Note: Wrote this in Mar of 2001. I had forgotten about this piece, until today. Found it in an old CD of random saved stuff. Ooh, the syrupy words makes you think it's about love, but you are dead wrong haha. It's just about a bunch of friends going their own ways. Or so I imagined.***It’s not life-threatening. It

Thinking For Real

2005-07-13T22:24:00.000-04:00

What about tomorrow?Note: Political post, so you might wanna head out the door now if you are adamant about a particular view...or continue at your own risk.With all the hullabaloo going on in the streets, I need to wake up from my surreality. For just a tad bit.Here goes.GMA's not a saint. We all know that. She's no angel